"Create a life that feels good on the inside, not one that just looks good on the outside."
My husband just posted this on facebook, and I'm not sure where it came from, but I decided to steal it. The truth friends, is that we have a lot of ugly in our lives at times. And I'm not sure how my life has looked on the outside in the past, but I do know that here on this little corner of the interwebs, I've tried to only show the best parts of mine. I decided that this blog would be a "focus on the positive" sort of thing, not even realizing the false front it puts up. A few (very few) who know me well know that my life has actually been pretty darn ugly recently. And even though we have had plenty of positive to focus on lately, it almost didn't get to that point. But it has come to my attention that when I pretend to have it all together, and that everything is perfect, I can't be used. I can't be molded, shaped. There is no room for growth. It turns out that gets stale pretty quickly. Without going in to details, I can tell you this,
"The Lord is near the the brokenhearted, and He saves the crushed in spirit." (Psalms 34:18)
Never in my life have I felt more broken than I did just a few short months ago, yet never in my life have I felt the presence of God more than I do now. Never in my life have I cared less what my life looks like on the outside, rather I am focused on the love and togetherness that we share inside our home. And never in my life have I put my trust so completely into the Lord to be used, shaped, and molded than I have right now, in this moment. And that, my friends, feels good. So basically what I'm trying to say is, expect a lot more "real" from me. Because real life is too beautiful to try to hide it behind false fronts.